Perform an act of kindness for a stranger expect untold joy

By Evelyn Lewin November 7, 2021 â€" 5.50am

Tash was waiting in line at the supermarket when she noticed the young mum in front of her struggling to pay her bill. Tash knew it was only a matter of time before the woman’s toddler became fussy, and she felt for the mum, who appeared flustered and embarrassed.

Since the pandemic, people have been paying it forward.Credit:Stocksy

Having been in a similar position in the past, Tash didn’t hesitate to jump in and pay for her shopping. Her reasoning was simple: “To pay it forward.”

While the film of the same name was released more than two decades ago, psychologist Dr Marny Lishman says the pandemic has seen a surge in people wanting to bring joy, or offer a helping hand, to someone they don’t know.

“Good things often come out of bad situations, and in situations involving human trauma and tragedy you will often see people rallying together to support one another,” Lishman says. “Paying it forward fits that category, with people starting to help others by doing things for other people for the sheer reason of helping, and not expecting anything in return.”

She says we often forget that humans are herd animals, and that we excel when we feel connected to others and “part of something”. Feeling we have a purpose “bigger” than ourselves also allows us to thrive psychologically.

That can lead to an increased sense of connection and a surge in feel-good hormones, which floods us with positive emotions. Knowing that our act of kindness can make a “massive difference” to someone else’s mental health and mood can also boost our own wellbeing, she adds.

“We often forget that humans are herd animals, and that we excel when we feel connected to others and “part of something bigger”

Tash found this to be true. The West Australian 48-year-old mother of two says her only motivation in paying for the other woman’s shopping was to assist someone who was clearly struggling. Yet she was surprised by how good it felt to do so.

“It was just really nice to help her out,” Tash says. “It was only $50 or something like that, it wasn’t a huge amount. But afterwards, the woman gave me a hug and had tears in her eyes … and I got a bit emotional as well.”

Tash has felt similarly emotional when reading stories of other people paying it forward on a Facebook page titled “The Kindness Pandemic”.

“In today’s day and age, with what we’re all going through, just to get that feeling of, ‘Oh wow, there is good out there’ … it’s nice to hear there is a bit of humanity,” Tash says.

But you don’t have to break the bank, or even open your wallet, to give paying it forward a go. Lishman says offering compliments or praise to strangers, or hand-making items or food for those in need, can serve the same purpose.

Alternatively, donating clothes or books to a charity or mentoring a student can also be considered ways to get involved. All you need is to set out with the intention of helping someone you don’t know, without any expectation of reward, acknowledgement or payback.

Perhaps the best part of this idea is that once you bring joy to someone else, they’re likely to feel grateful and inspired to pay it forward themselves. “The more you do it, the more others will do it,” Lishman says. “It has a flow-on effect.”

Tash can attest to that. When the young mum offered to repay Tash, she asked her if she could pay it forward in some small way instead. The woman leapt at that idea. “So that was nice,” Tash says. “And hopefully it snowballs a little bit from there.”

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale November 7. To read more from Sunday Life, visit The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.

Share this post